I know it’s been a while since I last shared what’s new on my road, so here’s the rundown…Family life, school life, writing, art, and commissioned work and freelance whenever possible. Just to name a few.
These past few years have been a lesson in perseverance. After going back to college to further my education I became intimately acquainted with frustration, failure, and hard-fought triumph. They were hard lessons to be learned for sure, but it’s something that each of us has to endure in order to learn and grow.
Frequently throughout life I had been told I was a talented person, that my creativity was unique, but being surrounded by all those young, mentally box-free individuals, and their flowing effervescent art made me realize just how crammed into that proverbial box I had become. Nothing knocks you off your pedestal faster, and makes you try harder, than realizing just how boring and lackluster you really are.
All that frustration certainly makes you question the sanity of going back to school in the middle of life, but the reasons to go and the reasons to stick it out are the same – to overcome the soul-sucking exhaustion from enduring the same-old-same-old. The horizon never changes and the opportunities for renewal stagnate if you stay in one place. If you never search for the mysterious and new, if you settle for the status quo, that’s all you get. Some might be satisfied with that, but I am not.
In this last semester before I graduate a realization occurred that I have gained valuable insight into myself. Startling knowledge of just what skills I possess and which I do not. As mentioned previously, perseverance is topmost in skills I hold dear, for without it I would have given up on the dream of furthering my education and learning exciting new crafts. I learned just what I like, and just what I have a knack for, and exactly what I never want to undertake for a job if at all humanly possible.
Another invaluable skill is my obsessive need to be organized. I can’t stress how important being organized is. On more than one occasion it helped when I had stayed up way too late studying for an exam and couldn’t remember if I’d packed my assignments for the next set of classes, but of course, I had, along with all the relevant books and supplies needed. It was instinctual and this precious skill has never let me down.
In between over ambitious course loads, family life, and taking on commission work, I found time to write. It’s part of my creative outlet and it keeps me “sane” when I would have otherwise chucked it all in favor of becoming an agoraphobic. I think I will always have the urge to create through words, as well as through my art. It’s who I am and an intricate part of what makes me happy. With all the demands of life these days I don’t always get to do what I want, and I certainly don’t succeed at everything I try. I admit the demands sometimes get overwhelming and I certainly want to give up at times. Life isn’t always easy, or fair, or rewarding. Things don’t always work out or go our way. Truthfully it’s downright depressing half the time.
So when do you give up? The answer is Never.
Because when it does finally go your way the victory will be that much sweeter because you ignored all the negativity and made it happen.